All My Love, Stefan
by aroseforyou
Summary: "The destination was Paris, though tomorrow we planned on catching a flight to Italy"   Stefan is in Paris with Klaus. It's bee a month but he finally writes that letter to Elena... *better summary inside*
1. Chapter 1

**All My Love, Stefan**

**What happens when Damon and Elena go searching for Stefan who is constantly on a change of location with his "master" Klaus? Stefan keeps the two things in mind that keep him from fully entering the dark side, his true love and his brother. As time goes by and letters turn to e-mails Elena reveals an overwhelming truth that forces Stefan to cut her off from him completely, and considers to fully indulge in his true nature…**

**Will Elena find him? And if she does will his heart be unfixable? Or will he do something he might regret?**

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><p>I inhaled quietly as I scribbled on the paper. Klaus had gone out for a while, leaving me alone in the expensive hotel. The destination was Paris, though tomorrow we planned on catching a flight to Italy. In a sick, twisted sort of way I was excited about re-visiting my ancestor's home, exploring the roots of the Salvatore family. The idea of being in the City of Love without the women I love pained me. It had been almost a month since my departure from Mystic Falls leaving Elena and my brother. Klaus knew I wasn't going to run off. So every time he was gone I would attempt to write a letter to Elena, explaining to her why I left. I sat there clicking the pen. This was my fourth attempt at finding the right words. So I started by saying;<p>

_Dear Elena,_

_I honestly don't know why it has taken this long for me to write you. I suppose it's just too risky but I'm willing to be risky when it comes to you. I'm writing this uncertain of what to say exactly, so I'll start with this. I love you._

_All my love, Stefan_

It was vague, short and full of helplessness on both behalf's. The only thing I worried about is when, or if, Elena would reply and how I would get it. I needed assistance if I was going to make this work. I thought suddenly washed upon the surface of my brain. I folded the letter up and slipped it perfectly into the envelope. I walked to the elevator cautiously looking before I turned every corner just in case Klaus would arrive early. Finally I arrived in the lobby. I scanned the room, looking for an appropriate human I would control. The overwhelming feeling of guilt and shame flushed through my body as to what I had become. I was still me of course, only instead of being a committed good vampire I was forced to indulge in my nature…it terrified me. But I had to keep the reason why I was here. I was here because I owed it to Damon. I finally saw a young boy carrying in luggage for an elderly couple. He was about 21 and clearly unappreciated within the hotel staff. I approached him when he let out a puff of oxygen, letting the bags fall from his hands. He was a handsome fellow, with natural blond hair and blue eyes that reminded me of my brothers and, the fact that he looked a lot older than 21 didn't sub side my mind as I put on my best smile.

"Hello…Do you speak English?" I asked. The boy simply raised an eyebrow whilst rolling his eyes.  
>"Yeah I do thanks" He said, putting on a clearly fake smile and stretching his fingers. It was late, so I ignored his pissed off, groggy mood. The boy spoke with a deep American accent. I had picked well. I told him about a "problem" in my room and asked him if he would be willing to help. He nodded and without saying anything made his way to the elevator, smiling at other guests on our way. The elevator was empty which is when I made my move. I lifted my hand to his shoulder and starred deeply into his sharp blue eyes.<p>

"What's your name?" I asked. I was in, when his mouth parted and his pupils shrunk.  
>"Michael Thomas Jones" I picked up on his Southern accent and assumed he was from Texas as he spoke his full name. I nodded pleased at his cooperation.<br>"Okay Michael, my name is Stefan Salvatore. Now Michael I need you to help me with something. I have a letter and I want you to go, right now and post it. When you return come straight to me. I'll be awaiting more instructions"  
>"Why do you need me to post it?" He asked, still under my compulsion. I sighed. I didn't want to be rough, so instead of telling him he just had to I said;<br>"Michael do you have a brother or… a girlfriend?" I whispered. Michael nodded robotically. "Do they live here in France or are they back home?" I asked a little louder.

"My wife is back home with my daughter Holly" He replied. I suddenly felt for this poor guy. He had a wife and daughter but he was out here in France? I wanted to know why, I wanted to know him. But there would be time for bonding between us later. For now I would just have him do this.

"Well, this letter is to the girl I love who lives back home. So I think you'll understand how important it is that you post it _now_?" I asked. He nodded. I removed the compulsion, handing him the letter. He slipped it into his blazer pocket and before I knew it the elevator doors were open. Michael smiled before removing himself from the elevator and heading for the stairs. He would go back down, post the letter then come back to me. It was a fact. I entered the room again, my chest aching as I thought, as I often do, about what Elena is up to at the moment…

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><p>I was lazing about in the Salvatore House as I usually did, dwelling on the fact that Stefan wasn't here to nag me about skipping school and not eating properly. Occasionally Damon would come in and try to create small talk, but everything with him and I had just gotten awkward since we kissed the night he was cured. We never really talked about it afterwards. He tried, but I just wallowed in guilt. I had basically done what Katherine had done. I played them in a way. I <em>kissed <em>Damon. Why would I do such a dumb thing like that? I knew there was a possibility that Stefan would not come back, that he could even die. But instead of worrying about him I was snuggling up and making out with his brother. I was so disgusted in myself. Caroline often came around to check on me and ask if there was any news. I couldn't help but feel she still had a little crush on Stefan, but when she revealed that she and Tyler Lockwood are an item I let the idea slip from my mind and continued to sit in my grief and pain. My skin wasn't its glowing self due to lack of sun. My body had grown weak. Sometimes I felt like half of me has run off somewhere, maybe even with Stefan.

It wasn't until a month after Stefan's departure I decided to do something about it. I couldn't just sit here whilst my true love was off doing gods know what to god knows who. I couldn't do it alone though, and that was the catch. I needed someone, the only other person who _needed _Stefan back just as much as I did. I walked into the parlour of the Salvatore house to find Damon sitting opposite the fire place with a small, crystal glass in his hand containing his favourite scotch. I looked at my watch. It was 11:30am. I rolled my eyes at Damon's stupid drinking routine before storming over and planting myself in front of him.

"Can I help you?" He asked without ever glancing at me, just taking a sip of his alcohol.  
>"I think we should go look for Stefan" Damon stopped what he was doing, finally flickering his eyes over my thinned body whilst gulping down his scotch. He placed the glass on the side table next to him, now standing so we were eye level. I noticed when he does that. He does when he feels looked down on, demeaned.<p>

"We won't be able to find him, Elena. Just stay put okay. He'll come back" He said before strutting away. I inhaled sharply. He was _not _going to get away with it that easily.

"Funny. He saved your life and you're not willing to go and find him? You owe him Damon"  
>"No Elena what I owe him is time. Stefan's not stupid. There's always a loophole" He said as he turned around sharply. Determination in his eyes. Damon knew Stefan better than anyone. Maybe even better than me, but this he was wrong about. Stefan is protecting us, and if protecting us means ditching us without any sort of excuse then he would do it. We stood there looking into each others eyes for what seemed like hours, but was only a matter of minutes. An intense atmosphere arose in the empty room. Damon narrowed his eyes slightly. I sighed dramatically.<p>

"It's Stefan, Damon. Do you understand that?" I pushed. Damon rolled his eyes. He was getting angry now.

"Of course I understand Elena he's my brother for crying out loud!" He fumed. I was speechless to his sudden outburst. "Don't sit there and act like you're the only one that misses him, that wishes he was here because you're not. I just don't sit around and let my grief take over my body. Grow up Elena; get on with your life…it's what Stefan would have wanted" He yelled, our faces now inches apart and a vein sticking out of his neck. Tears burnt in my eyes as I gritted my teeth tightly together as Damon's chest throbbing due to his sharp breathing. His features soften when a lone tear glided down my cheek. He sighed, frustrated as he crushed my body towards his letting my soil his t-shirt with tears. I buried my face into his chest whilst grabbing a fistful of his t-shirt. He shushed me, rubbing my back soothingly. I let out helpless whimpers as I let the suffocating pain flush through my lungs and my heart. I, honestly, felt like my head was about to explode with all the pain. Stefan was…Stefan was…I couldn't finish the sentence. I felt Damon's lips brush against my ear whilst his free hand stroked my hair. I sniffled, unwillingly pulling my body away from his. Right now, the need to be comforted was fresh in my being. He smiled softly at me.

"When's the last time you had something to eat?" He whispered as his hands trailed down to my hips. I managed to breathe out a humourless laugh as I swiped a tear from my face.  
>"I don't know…" I said looking down at the expensive rug we were standing on suddenly feeling slightly ashamed. Damon shook his head and slipped his hand into mine.<p>

"Come on, I'll cook you up something real nice" He said cockily, with a smile Damon lead me to the kitchen were I watched him work like a professional chef to create for me the perfect spaghetti…

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><p>I thanked Michael when he returned; making me aware that he had completed his task. I planned on finding out more about him, but I knew better. It was about 1:30am and I knew Klaus would be back soon. So instead I waited. I flicked through the channels, in desperate search of a distraction. A distraction of what Klaus would want me to do when he's back. Sometimes he takes me out and forces me to feed on a human. My acting skills were exceptional when that happens. <em>A real ripper enjoys the kill<em> were his exact words. And if I didn't "enjoy" it he would compel me, or just go straight back to Mystic Falls and bite Damon again. He trusted me…for some strange reason. I was not to question his trust, but be thankful that I have it. This way it will be easier for me to keep in touch with Elena and maybe even Damon. "Ah you're awake. Goodie" the strong English accent sent the hair at the back of my neck in motion as I turned around to see Klaus pouring a sliced blood pack into a small crystal glass. It reminded me of Damon and how possessive he was about his favourite Scotch. I gulped at the site of the blood but kept my calm. It was then I realised the _two_ glasses. I was actually pathetic. The only reason I was hesitant towards it is because of the guilt. But actually, I was still Stefan. It hadn't changed me at all, not like I thought it would. Of course, I craved it. I craved to kill but when I did I just kept myself in mind and made a promise to myself that I would step into the darkness nor indulge in the kill. Klaus sipped his own drink while passing me mine. I raised it, a silent cheers before taking a sip, closing my eyes in ecstasy as the blood burnt down my throat in a soothing, heavenly way. I re-opened my eyes.

"A positive?" I asked Klaus, a grin on my face. Klaus grinned back smugly.

"Your favourite. Thought I'd treat you" He raised an eyebrow before finishing off his blood and wondering into a different room. I too gulped down my blood, continuing to flick through the channels. Finally I found a movie that was bearable to watch. It wasn't long before Klaus called me on his way to the door, throwing orders at me. We were going to the Moulin Rouge to pick out tonight's meal. With a secretly fake evil grin on my face I strutted towards him and followed him outside to a fancy black car. Within fifteen minutes we were outside the sparkling Moulin Rouge…

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><p><em>AN: So hey guys, hoped you liked the first chapter of 'All My Love, Stefan'. Just a short, nice chapter to start off the story and set the scene and such :) anyways review, favourite etc. Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys so thanks for the feedback, reviews, favourites etc. Sorry it's been so long, I just have a lot of stories going at the moment so I'm finding it hard to write my chapters quickly. To put those of you who are concerned about Elena falling for Damon at ease I'd just like to make it clear that Elena definitely _will not _fall for Damon but as the story continues they'll be spending a lot of time together so who knows what mistakes Elena will make in her confused state**

The Moulin Rouge wasn't what I prepared for it to be. The minute we were inside I wanted to get back out. Women of all different ages were flaunting themselves at Klaus…then at me. Feathers and ruffles and sparkles appeared before my eyes. This place all seemed a little too camp for my liking. Eventually we were sat a puffy red booth that held alcohol and cigars on a table. Apparently there was show due to be on any minute. Klaus smiled excitedly, deviously as the lights somehow got brighter and a sea of women's legs impressively lifting of the ground to their heads appeared before our eyes. It was the cancan. I laughed to myself at the cliché, hoping it looked like a smile of joy. It did as Klaus's eyes were on my face, an evil smile possessing his features. The show wasn't my cup of tea but I applauded anyway. It was then Klaus lead me into a purple coloured room. I knew what was going to go down. There, bang in the middle of the room were two chairs. One for me, one for Klaus. I swigged down my strong drink before taking my seat and waiting whatever women Klaus had picked out to appear and do…whatever. "I picked out one I think you'll enjoy immensely" Klaus whispered, in a tone I had never heard before. It was hard with a tad of sincerity but still beheld that twisted, stomach churning vibe to it. And the minute we were presented with the women, I knew the meaning behind his tone. Klaus's woman was his usual type. In the past month I had picked up on the fact that he preferred blonde hair, aluminous green eyes, fair skin and large breasts and he would usually pick the same for me. Only this time he never.

The woman in front of me was tall and slim. She had gleaming dark brown hair that finished just above her ribcage. Her skin had an olive glow to it and her eyes were big and round. Damn. Even her make-up was like Elena's, and the choice of clothes... or lingerie. The woman had a lacy purple bra on with panties to match. My breathing became heavier and began to quicken. The women approached me, placing her soft, silky legs on both sides of my straddling on my lap. I shut my eyes. I couldn't do this. I couldn't kill her. Not when she resembled Elena so much. Shutting my eyes wasn't helping, as when I felt the women's lips against my collarbone I imagined them to be Elena's. But she was not Elena. She will _never _be _my _Elena. No matter how much she reminded me of her. When I re-opened my eyes I felt an overcome of desire. A different sort of desire, that I had been avoiding the entire trip with Klaus. I wanted to kill this girl. I wanted to for one reason and one reason only.

Her face, it was emotionless. Nothing in her eyes. No fear, nor regret. Not even joy in what she was doing. So instead of going along with this silly façade of enjoying having a look alike of Elena play with me I cut to the chase. I lifted my hand to her throat hard, and turned her face slightly, I felt my fangs throb as they slipped from my gums. The bloodlust overtook me. I felt the veins extended from my eyes down to my cheeks and I easily pulled her neck closer to me and inserted my fangs…

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><p>I guess I was feeling better having Damon around now. There was still that little, awkward atmosphere but I appreciated him being there for me. He was adamant about getting my eating habits back to normal and so offered me a deal that if I allow him to cook for me every night we'll talk about the Stefan situation and where he could be. I woke up one morning as usual and felt good. I waltzed down the huge staircase of the Salvatore manor and went to check for mail. I did it every morning but there never were any letters. No bills to pay, just an empty letterbox. Only this morning there <em>was <em>a letter. I smiled bewildered as I took it out of the metal letter box, examining beautiful cream envelope addressed to me. Wait. Me? Who knew I lived here except Bonnie, Jeremy, Caroline, Damon and…Stefan. I walked back inside the house, not once taking my eyes of the letter. I sat on one of the sofas and began to rip the paper.

_Dear Elena,_

_I honestly don't know why it has taken this long for me to write you. I suppose it's just too risky but I'm willing to be risky when it comes to you. I'm writing this uncertain of what to say exactly, so I'll start with this. I love you._

_All my love, Stefan_

I read over it again and again and again until it actually sunk in that this was an _actual _letter that was _actually _from Stefan. I lifted a shaking hand up to my chest before yelling out Damon's name.

"Damon. DAMON" I exclaimed, and undoubtedly he appeared almost immediately after yelling. A panic expression plastered on his face, although he soon turned curious when I handed him the letter. His hand lingered on mine for a moment as our fingers brushed together in the process of handing him the paper. He simply bit his lip before taking the letter into both of his hands and scanning his eyes over it. His lips slightly parted as he finished, his eyes flickering over to me. He placed his body next to mine on the sofa. A long pause clung in the atmosphere of the room as I waited in anticipation for Damon's reaction. His face gave away no sign of emotion. He was simply still. Maybe it was the shock? I poked his shoulder gently. His eyes fluttered as if coming out of a trance. It all seemed very out of character for Damon. He was always on alert, focussed. Especially since the sacrifice. He nodded, shuffling closer to me. I didn't shy away from the motion. I was used to Damon and I being close. He was my friend, dare I speak to soon.

"Are you going to write back?" My mood faded.

"I don't know the address he sent it from…" I whispered, my eyes suddenly welling up with tears. I knew it was too good to be true. Damon inhaled deeply, before removing himself from the position next to me and travelling over toward a table on the opposite side of the room. I heard cluttering but continued to stare into the dancing abnormality that the fire before me possessed. Damon's presence was back soon enough. A tear seeped from my left eye. It's like someone had just taken advantage of me, played a prank or something. Stefan _had _sent this letter I knew he had. I had read his journal a thousand of times, knowing he either wouldn't mind or wouldn't care. Depending on if he had fully stepped into the shoes of his past, dark self. Damon's large fingers entwined with mine as he passed a pen and piece of cream paper in my other hand. I looked down.

"What-"I began, but Damon cut in.

"Just write a letter. I'll make sure he gets it" Damon said confidently. I bit my lip, fighting back mixed tears of joy and sadness.

"But how?" I asked. My voice shaky and unsteady.

"Just trust me" Was all he said. He looked down, his free hand placed on my thigh now. "I'll give you some privacy…" He breathed before gently tapping my lap and standing up, exiting the room. The world seemed to have stopped for a moment. I then hastily ran up the huge staircase tripping on the last couple of steps. I turned corner and finally found myself in the room I slept in every night, haunted by his memory. I slammed the door of Stefan's room shut now slowly approaching his desk. It was full of papers, papers that I had read over and over again. Some were only essays for school whereas others were his favourite poems he had ripped from pages, and his favourite parts of his favourite books also ripped from pages. I knew why he ripped them out. Because Stefan believed in enjoying the little things, and Stefan enjoyed re-reading books he had read a thousand times. Analysing, memorising poems he already knew everything about. So instead of rummaging through a whole lot of books and what not to find them, he had them all here on his work desk which also held his journal. I inhaled deeply; placing the piece of paper on top of Stefan's belonging and retrieved a pen from the side. I clicked it a couple of times, giving myself time to clear my mind and just let my hand do the work.

_Dear Stefan,_

_It doesn't matter that it's taken you a month to write me a letter and It's okay that you don't know what to say because honestly, neither do I. All that matters is that you haven't forgotten me and that you're still you. I know it's extremely risky and it's awfully brave of you for taking that risk. I really appreciate it. The past month has been incredibly hard. Every night I wake up in your bed, screaming because you're not there. _His_ face haunts my dreams. It's like I've been living a nightmare. Your letter awoken me from that nightmare and now I feel hopeful that you'll be back one day. Damon has been taking good care of me, forcing me to eat and calming me down when I wake up at night since I've kinda cut myself off from everyone else. It's like when Klaus took you he secretly took me too. I miss you so much it hurts. I love you Stefan, always._

_All My Love,_

_Elena_

I breathed in deeply unable to stop the lone tear that fell of my cheek and onto the paper, forcing some of the ink to spread. As I folded the piece of paper slowly, rethinking the words over and over again in my head I finally found the energy to lift myself up from the chair the smell of something divine drifting through my nostrils. I tip toed downstairs not concerned as to what Damon was cooking up for breakfast. When I finally slowly stepped into the kitchen area that I wasn't all too familiar with I carefully place the letter at the side of where Damon was working. Damon stopped in the middle of washing so tomatoes, a dish towel draped over his shoulder. He puffed out a breath of air, whipping his palms on the towel before walking his finger over to retrieve the letter. I starred into the marble kitchen surface. Damon's finger brushed softly against the paper, his eyes now on me. I felt his stare and so looked back. His eyes were hard.

"We'll find him. I promise" The soothing words did wonders to my downed mood. I smiled back, before leaving the kitchen and taking my place, just like every other day, on the sofa to wallow in my pain and self pity…

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><p>I grunted as I threw the now dead women to the floor harshly. Klaus sat with raised eyebrows, the blonde still ruffling through his hair positioned on his crotch with her legs at both sides of him. I lifted my hand to my mouth, whipping away the remains of her blood. I starred into Klaus's eyes, full of amusement. I know exactly what was running through his mind. <em>You're becoming exactly what I want you too become.<em>

"May I be excused?" I whispered, viciously squeezing the arms of the chair. A quiet chuckle escaped the werewolf/vampire's mouth. I didn't flinch, not react.

"I'll see you back at the hotel in an hour" Was all Klaus said.

"Thank you" I replied before almost instantly leaving the small, purple coloured room. I pushed through a crowd of desperate yet rich men and sparkling females throwing themselves at them. When the Paris air hit me I'd never felt more relived in my life. The taste of her blood still clung onto my taste buds, the image of her face, oh so scared whilst possessing the same features as my lovers, was carved into my head. I shut my eyes tight refusing to let the tears fall. It didn't work. I hadn't cried for one month. But that back there was too much for me to handle, for _anyone _to handle. I composed myself, whipping away the lone tear from my cheek and finally moving my feet making my way back to the hotel letting sleep take over my being, preparing myself for the harsh nightmares I knew would floor my mind…


End file.
